*sigh* where do I begin *rolls eyes* ay let me start 00:00 1st January 2011 ohhhhh my what an exciting day it was. Fire crackers up in the sky, everyone being so happy. It rained. Everyone that knows me knows I love rain…. Everyone was out and about. Out of all that midsts I found myself praying for a better year. With peace and happiness. I know a lot of people took that day to make their resolutions for the new year. So much more than what I prayed for happened. And now its nearing an end. I say 2011 ngiyabonga for everything that has happened. I could not have had all the experience received this year in any other year. With all of it – I took a lesson from it all. And I am today a different better person.
For everything that has happened between me and my friends, family, man and everyone else around me thank you. To some situations I don’t know what were the reasons. But as I grow older I’ve figured I don’t have to know everything in all situations.
I’ve previously spoken about the deepest hurt I’ve experienced this year – it still hurts today. When I think about it alone it brings me tears. I pray dear God to please heal my wound. I’ve walked around with a heavy heart for too long. I still don’t know the reason to the betrayal I discovered this year. As I write this in me I hear a song (Phindukhulume Moya oyingcwele) and I have nothing but tears in my eyes. I can’t explain the feeling inside me right now. You are a God that has a plan for all of us and you know better. We may not understand beyond what our eyes can see and what our ears can hear. Kodwa you know how to break and heal….. I’ve always served am awesome and faithful God. You won’t leave me now.
The other day I said a prayer to please help me trust again. Let me let go of my insecurities and learn that things happen for a reason. Hlanza umoya wami Jehova ukhulule inhliziyo yami. Take away the bitterness I have inside me and let me be a normal child again. I want to give love again the day you will bless me with love again.
Year in year out I had to let go of a certain people in my life. Last year it was toxic friends. This year its people that I don’t know were even my friends. I guess there is progress in that department…. Even if I’m left with one friends as long as I know I can trust, rely, cry to, be happy with and know when they are around me everything is okay. Then I will be @ peace.
Both the Phindys in my life aw bandla they’ve played such an important role.
Phindy Mabe you always have been theeeeeeee sweetest friend God blessed me with. I know we talk everyday and you are such an inspiration. I’ve came crying to you on so many occasions and you know what I’ve been through and you have never judged or got bored by my whining and crying instead you always gave me something to laugh about. In a number of occasions I’ve had people come between us kodwa I could never leave you. I’ve said this to my other friends that of all the friends I’ve had, you are the only one I know would laugh at my dullest, dumbest situation. You’ve always given me laughs no matter how sad I’d be. and I’m greatful to have met you. I hope God blesses you and give you peace that you’ve always prayed for. You will one day get what you’ve always told me you’ve been asking from God. God is polishing you right now. That’s why you’ve got all the test. I love you.
Phindy Mahlangu. My number 1 gangster I don’t have enough or right words to use to express the excitment I have writting and to thanking you for being around. Geeez mngani. Hlanya lami wena you represent me. No other friend I can say unjengami like you are. The day I met you hahahaha it was in a taxi rank mkhozi kuQue going home and we met through mutual friends. Shall we bless that day please.
You are one friend that understands me. You can tell when I’m angry, sad, and going through staff without me opening my mouth about it. I know you’ve thanked me before for being such a sister – kodwa today I want to thank you for being you, for being happy, and for giving me the best days ever since I met you. Ngiyazi manginawe yonke into inhlangene hahaha. You bring me happiness my friend and ngiyakuthanda. Don’t ever give up on my moods and indesiveness lol. I promise I’m working on it. I know there is a lot that your heart desires kodwa my advise to you has always been: a prayer. For all situations the distance between the ground and your knees is not that far. I am so happy you’ve been practising and its such a tough road ukuhlala kuJehova kodwa there is peace when your heart is placed in the hands of the creator. I know you have plans and date mngani and I say never stop visualising it. It will come true one day. God knows better than us. Please don’t stop being you.
All of you my friends just because I don’t have your name mentioned here, I want you to know the fact that you’re still around in my life means you are contributing something positive. I am thankful to have you in my life.
Abangaziyo bangbiza umphuthi wezintandane that’s why I have so many friends. Ngiyabonga for being around.
Family Mama no Baba ngiyabonga for all the values, the conversations and being strict and firm with me…… i am who i am because of you. the support in everything I’ve been involved in. I could not have asked for better parents. One day i want to grow older like you two. You’re such an inspiration. Aw kodwa you’ve raised a stubborn child kwaaaaa. Kodwa ngiyanithanda. And my little sister Zakithi wena you’re my own. I love you and thank you for being such a pain sometimes and our fights kodwa in my heart you’re my one and only sister I could not have asked for anyone else and we are still going to fight about homeworks, kodwa i cannot dzeal when you get into the adolescents stage hoooooooooooo ngizogijimisa abantu la hahahahaha *serious face*. Little brother Musa I know we don’t talk a lot kodwa Mfo ngiyakuncanywa lol.
Everything and everyone else I’ve come in contact with this year, it was for a reason. Keep doing you and will do me too.
2011 came, so many changes happened, it may just be another year to someone else but it certainly was another chapter to mine. and trust i took a lot of lessons this year. one more thing is i learned to have fun again – people have always seen me as a sweet, understanding person, it was until i came out of my own comfort zone and said 1, 2 and 3 of what didnt sit well with me that people realised how mad i can be. and as soon as i put my foot down and said no to a few things that i didnt like – thats when i realised too that the people i thought i knew i honestly didnt. it’s okay though this was another lesson.
by the way the past couple of months i learned to read the bible thoroughly this time 🙂 . it is such a healing book, it sooths away the pain and takes away the bitternes and gives you courage annd hope – i hope as you read this you take five minutes of your busy daily schedule and read….. you will feel and see the difference in your life.
with all of that being said. i’d like to say Ngiyabonga.
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