A letter to my Un-born child

 To my un-born child…

Mould of my womb, result of my own doing, my little prince or princess you are my perfect stranger. It was the Creator’s will that your father and I engage in a bit of bedroom bliss while He scattered your seed in your father’s erection and he in my womanhood, creating in you the tie that binds, the link that locks our rapport. You will come… in a form and size unbeknown to me in the interim. You will be the infantile reflection of the one and the same- me. I see you in the mirror and I see you through the man I want to see as your father. You are my unborn self. You will come from me, made of me, made by me; you are me, a soon-to-be-born version of me.

Someone else reading this will wonder where I get off talking about you like this when I’ve never felt what it’s like to be in maternity. She will dwell on her condemnatory dogma as I try to make sense of it as well. My imagination has never failed me before, why should it start now? When I can hear your lil’ heart beat right next to mine and the pitter- patter of your feet! Everything that had died in me comes alive inside me in the shape of you, my bundle of unexpressed joy.
How honored I am that you chose me to carry out this nifty task of giving birth to you. So I hear that being a parent changes the course of one’s life. The day I give birth, I will start believing in such miracles. If the little thing that you will be will be capable of the biggest blunders as it has been with me, then you better have a lot of time in your hands to sit and read the rest of the memoir I will compile for you documenting the do’s and don’ts even though I want you to make your own mistakes, because you need to change the course of your life before it ruins who you become (given you take on mommy’s traits).I do promise though, that despite my deplorable ways, I will be the best mother you could’ve ever wished for. I put that on everything. I want you to choose me and if you ever have another choice, to choose me again and again.
I am imagining my self on a recliner as we speak. My plumpness may hide the enormousity of you inside of me and I will probably complain about how fat you will have made me to your daddy. I will probably make it an excuse to eat for two but it is not the size that will be documented, it is the truly beautiful experience of having known I was the host of such perfection that will come out of you.

There are a number of scenarios that set a couple on that road in pursuit of ultimate marital happiness and that is to conceive. It’s okay my angel, I know this is all too much for you to understand now, but someday, when you’re grown like mommy and daddy, and need to ask God to drop you your own lil’ babies from heaven, you will understand why mommy is overwhelmed at just the thought of you and your cute small face.
I cannot wait for our lil’ shopping sprees whether we go shopping for your first toy or clothes or Barbie and dancing or karate lessons, I just want the world to see you in my arms or next to me and I want to see the world and myself grin through your lil’ eyes when a stranger says: “She has your eyes and lips”. I can not wait til we get besotted with each other and make daddy so jealous! I want to know that I am coming home to extra hugs and wet kisses everyday and a grilling with the questions you will have as you come to realize that babies don’t do like rain drops from the Lord. I’m actually looking forward to that my pumpkin.

My nunu, I cannot contain myself. The very thought of this brings tears to my eyes. I will never let you see me like that though, because I want you to learn from as early an age as possible that I come with a smile plastered to my face and plan to die with one on. If at any point you make mommy angry, God will not be pleased with you and its not good to have God mad at lil’ children. So you understand right? Mommy needs to constantly be smiling.
Sthandwa se Nhliziyo yami, I speak to and with you in this memoir I have decided to keep for you. As I write this, I have no clue who you will be, what will become of you, whose personality you might take on or whose features you will carry strongly- what I know for sure is that somewhere, somehow in your little self will be a lot of me…

When you are all grown I will read you this letter to let you know how excited I was to plan for you.

Until your daddy and I meet, I’ll keep imagining you, I can’t wait to meet you Lunga Juniour!

Lunga®

The girl next door?!?! Friend, Sister, B*&h the enemy.

I’m all for meeting new people, I pretty much make friends everyday. I love people that move, dream, able to tell a story that can build the next person, friends that can tell me when I’m wrong. Those that can tell the truth when I’m wearing the wrong outfit. Some have stayed longer than others, I have so many categories of friends. Others fall as my sisters, my bi*&hes and my enemies.
Yep I got them all because each one of them brings something into my life. In the recent years I have learned to let go of toxic friends but these days I’ve decided to keep the few that’s left, because they just motivate me everyday to be better than I was yesterday. Well they have their own way of doing it, they do it thee negative way. So another person can see that as a way to bring yourself down. But I just read their ways the other way around. #Get a life and stop trying to F around with mine!!

And then comes the ENEMY, the one that is envious about everything that is you…. I have one or maybe two or maybe three of those my gawsh don’t they know how to convince you that they hate everything about you. Funny it is when they end up trying to be like you from the way you dress, where you hang, the company you keep and the guy you call your man. Kwaaaa I remember someone telling me that there is two types of jealousy the “I wanna be like her jealousy” and then there’s the “I so wish something bad can happen to her” who the F does she think she is jealousy. So bo Miss Cruela I don’t know which jealousy they fall under. But friends be aware of those. #Nigger please!!!

Along the way comes Miss B*&h!!! Oi this one sure knows how to scratch
Your back. Fortunately I haven’t come across one of those. But along the stream of my friends they have experienced miss “I steal friends man” eish this one is total danger. For every little fight, argument or problem you share with her about your relationship she will always be the one encouraging you to end it. The guy is just not worth the tears, you’re beautiful and you deserve better. Blah blah blah advices coming from her. A month later you discover she has been shagging what you called YoUR man. Ay o yena ke Wolf in a sheep skin. I read on twitter someone wrote: “I won’t get married first before my best friend, because I know she’ll sleep with my man” he he he! Yah Such ne – bleak #Stay away from me and my things!!

And then there was the Angel, the saint, miss perfect miss better than all of us. I’m sure we all have that one ane! The one whose Degree is better than yours, her family, her man, her clothes everything nje is better. She has better stories. She is that friend that when you have problems to not go to because she sure will rub her better life out of your miserable self. She is that one that doesn’t have a bad story to tell. Her life has been such a cruise. The one that has it all. @ your weakest never ever go to this one for a shoulder to cry on. She will make you feel twice little than you were before you went to her. Don’t worry much about them because you know what. They have not been living. Life is about happiness, being angry, disappointments, laughter, tears, sadness, heartaches/breaks, joy, Lahlum’lenze lol and everything else. The negative and the positive that you’ve experienced in life be grateful, it shows you are living life. Unlike miss goodie two shoes whose only had a smooth sail. #Child I cannot deal with you!!

This one I don’t know which category they’ll fall under. But will name her miss drama. This one is really good actually brilliant in counting problems. Seeing mistakes all the time. If she is not fighting le mang mang from work, or school or wherever she spends most of her time @ she is complaining about how not fair her folks are to her, if its not the boyfriend or husband letting her down all the time she is complaining about how God has not been showing favour to her. Lurkkkkk really missy???!!! This kind of friend needs to do some introspection about herself, she needs to wake up and realize that life owes her nothing get up when you get scratched, scratch back. And stop wiyning about how bi*&h life is!!! And stay away from me in the meantime until you get yourself fixed. #Suck it up like the rest of us!!!

Hooooooooo and then there’s that one. Miss borrow money, and disappear, kwaaa! Miss borrow me clothes and never return, miss I’m broke all the time! Miss I only hang with you when the sun is shining (money wise) when hard times hit you, she is nowhere to be found. Yes the Cash Cow buddy. You see this one knows how to have fun @ other peoples expense, and most of these kinda miss borrow friends heish they love fancy life, you enjoy their company because they talk a lot. Mara these once don’t ever ever count on them! #she keeps the change kwaa!!!

Okay this one I don’t know how to describe, not many words for her but she is the friend only when you see her, never call, email, text or visit so she is boring and you shouldn’t really consider her a friend. #know your type!!!!

Writing about the next category friend just lits up my heart. This one I call a sister. Yep she is the self picked family member. This one represents you. If you want people to know you better refer them to this one. Wabona if you ever ever in your life come across a friend that falls as a sister be happy be glad because those are scares these days. This is one or maybe two or maybe three person who you know you’ve got your back covered. I have a few of those. And they are for keeps. For life!!! No matter how low you may feel, how sad you may be how difficult it may seem this one will make you smile just nje. They soothe the pain, the scars, disappointments and are there when its all glory and happiness. Darkness and rainy days. This friend will be with you in the hardest times. From fights with other friends, to work and family politics and nje about you. Yall know what I’m talking about. She deserves a gold star on her forehead for being an angel and she deserves to be reminded how much she is appreciated in your life.
#Honey you just make the world feel like Jellytots!!!

I am the girl next door too perhaps one of those girls characters to some of my friends, but child yall know I try to be a good sister lol. We all have our moments and sometimes we act just a little like our sisters mentioned. Like I said in life you: smile, cry, become sad, ujabule, lahlum’lenze just because nje so kancane nje we are all allowed to be friends next door.

Until next time – keep the sisterly love going.

Lunga®p

Dear Life, Love and Journey

Now that we’ve passed the book of Genesis of my blog. I think its time to tackle matters of the heart affecting us daily: will begin with lines taken from a book:

A definite must read. It opened my eyes about how I’ve stayed in relationships because I owed it to him, I didn’t want to break his heart – yet he kept breaking mine everyday. A few questions to help you and me see the people we wanted to stay in our lives soooooo bad:

What defines a Soul mate?:

Soul mates make you so desperate and out of control that you end up having to transform yourself.

Soul mates are meant to break your heart open so new light can come in.

A Soul mates purpose is to shake you up, break your ego just a little. Show you your obstacles and addiction.

A true Soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet. Because they tear down your walls and smack you awake.

Your soul mate is the person who brings you to your own attention so that you can change your life.

A true soul mate is a mirror, a person that shows you everything that holds you back.

People think a soul mate is a perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants.

So after all is said and done I ask myself: now do I live with a soul mate forever and I say, nah too painful, soul mates come into your life to reveal another layer of yourself to you and then go.

Soul mates should eventually introduce you to your inner spiritual master.

Today I am a woman of calibre thanks to those I loved and broke my heart. And I was still able to get up and love again. I think I can safely say I have met my soul mate. He did bring out the best and the worst in me. He shoke me up… Made me dream, made me fall hard for him, broke my heart, stumbled in it. Chewed it threw it in a trash left me miserable. I stayed, walked around with a heavy heart for a long time. He showed me what happiness is. He made me understand the feeling of love. Loving someone. He made me feel like I was the best woman in the world. I made him happy. When we were together nothing else mattered….

But I survived. I loved again. Now I met a man, such character, such cultured and super traditional……

They said the lord says; Be still and know that I am God. I’m a patient person so I will wait on the Lord.

(Soul mate notes were taken from the book) Eat, Pray and Love by Elizabeth Gilbert,

The rest of the post is dedicated to my friends, the man in my life, my dreams and my life. And those that came and left my life.

The Beginning

I think my First Quick press should be about the platform/foundation of my blog, to give you an idea the purpose of this, where i want it to go, who inspired and nje to introoduce myself.

First things first, i’m not your Average Social Network sites fan, my facebook account got to a point where i deactivated it because it was taking too much of my time, as for Twitter Gawsh that thing sometimes i get it, and other days i just dont. some of my friends have said ngiyachosha because i hardly communicate with them, and it’s simple (i dont have all the time on my hands) to comment, like statuses, chat, retweet, reply blah blah blah… this blog is created so that my friends and those that i am yet to meet find out what i am up to. we doing it current affair style, the ins and the outs of it all, for weight (Food and Gym will cover) my friends with Relationship problems (Love will Cover) your what to wear (Fashion and Accessories will cover) i’m using this blog to make him and her and theirs come together,

Advises, suggestions and links can be forwaded to lungamahlangu@yahoo.com.

this blog will connect you and i. what ever you got on your mind, drop me a line and will put it up.

lets have fun, share, educate, help and just laugh together 🙂